Let’s Talk About The Fear Of Leaving A Relationship
Is it a real problem?
We often stay in relationships or marriages that suffocate us because we are afraid to end it, close a page in our lives and start over. But if we do not close the door to unhappiness, we will never have the chance to be truly happy.
Fear of loneliness limits our choices. We often stay in relationships or marriages that suffocate us because we are afraid to end it, close a page in our lives, and start over. But if we do not close the door to unhappiness, we will never have the chance to be truly happy.
When a relationship/marriage doesn’t work out, it forces us to ask ourselves some questions whose answer can be painful because that means being realistic with ourselves and acknowledging where we went wrong.
For the one who decides to leave because he bears the burden of the decision and with it the guilt: he is the one who goes and makes the other suffer.
For the one who stays because he feels betrayed and abandoned.
In this dynamic of separation, the most painful thing for each partner is to stop relating to the other all the time and look at him: each one has his contribution in reaching this point.
If they do not control and identify what went wrong and their part in this dynamic, they will find the scenario in the next relationship and suffer again.
The anger and desire for revenge of the one who is abandoned or the feeling of liberation mixed with guilt of the one who leaves prevent them from really clarifying what happened, leaving the past behind, and being careful not to repeat it in the next relationship. The same things that led to the breakup.
Man is a par excellence social: he cannot live alone, but that does not mean living in a toxic relationship. The longer you tolerate such a situation, the more you cancel yourself as an individual, the more you lose your self-esteem and confidence that you can succeed in having a harmonious relationship with someone.
The excuses I often hear are:
- I can’t do that to my kids
- I won’t be able to handle myself
- I can’t live without them
- I can’t do this to my parents; that would destroy them
- I can’t stand being alone
It’s your decision to stay in an abusive relationship or not, all of the above are excuses meant to make you feel better, not diminish your self-esteem until you cancel.
Children will not be better off in a family where both parents are constantly arguing, barely talking to each other, feeling frustrated, restricted, unhappy; don’t make them feel good together!
It is indeed difficult to manage on your own, but if you plan your expenses carefully, you will see that you work harder, but you go out to the harbor in the end.
You can live without a partner even if it seems to you that without them, you can’t breathe. Time attenuates feelings, reduces the intensity of emotions.
Don’t protect your parents if you tell them lies; they feel that something is wrong: every time you come to visit them or when you do the family holidays, you feel the tension between you and your partner, the storm floats in the air even if everyone pretends not to see the clouds.
Staying single is not that difficult. You can see the friends you neglected while you were in a relationship, you can reconnect with siblings for whom you didn’t have time, you can make new acquaintances, you can go to concerts, theaters, exhibitions, etc. one word you can have time for yourself and you can reconfigure your program accordingly. You choose!
